Whip-it-up dinner featuring super-greens that you can FEEL gettin' in your cells

Today was an annoying weather day. I discovered while standing in the locker room at the gym in my underwear, that Punky actually had a snow day and not a delay. I swore under my breath and reorganized my day, including not getting my work out. Getting to lift and throw and grunt around with weights is really important to me and I'm training for a sprint triathlon and considering starting striking/boxing in the summer. Not being able to exercise pisses me off. BUT I did a good job rallying. Today was another day when I loved loved loved my job. I am really lucky.

Enough of that. Let's get some recipes going, eh?

I have a cooking problem. I am really bad at cooking rice. Really bad. It's a running joke with Pants. I even texted him the other day when I blew it, and he said "good to know some things never change." I fucked up an entire pot of brown the other day...just underdone and swimming in water. Today I fucked up wild rice and this is the kind of rice that comes so that it is easily made...any American should be able to do it. I salvaged it but it's kinda weird and chewy and hard.

Fett digs the wild rice so I'm getting into it too. Hadn't been in my rotation. I did a millet recipe recently--Ethiopian--and it was wonderful. I made a hot cereal mix of toasted millet and amaranth grains. It's pretty good though strongly nutty.

These are easy recipes and are great for a night when you don't have a lot of time and want to talk to your dearest friend ever (whom I will call Significant Other, Mrs. White) while cooking. That reminds me, I need to get my voicemail fixed.

Did you guys click on the links in my blog last night??? I felt really clever.

Really I think it behooves  all of us to eat more greens. This post will give you 3 different ways to have them and they are all very different and very delicious and very easy and quite fast.

Sauteed Chard and Tofu

I like tofu. I know that people think we all eat too much soy, that tofu is boring etc etc. I like it, Punky likes it, and it's really versatile. Another time I will post Dr. Sarah's smokey tofu.

If you haven't had chard, it's a great introduction to the kale and heavy greens family. It's intense like kale but softer, more tender, and not as cabbage-y. It's really good. Trader Joe's has it in bags along with bagged kale and bagged mustard/collard greens that I'm psyched to use. I use my cast iron pot, not just a sautee pan, because you use a lot of chard and it's in a big pile until it cooks down.

1 medium shallot-minced (pretty small)
3 cloves garlic-chopped (not quite as small)
Olive oil, enough to coat the bottom. You could easily use spray. 
1 block of extra firm tofu. 
1 whole 16 oz/1 pound bag of chard. It's a lot. Trust me on this
Salt
Pepper
Seasoning of your choice, in the Italian realm. I used an oregano/marjoram/thyme/basil blend and some random Penzey's blend I had lying around. WHAT??? You aren't familiar with PENZEY'S. OMG I'm obsessed.

1. Press the tofu. Some of you poor saps don't have the Tofu Express. It ain't cheap but it's worth the money. It is very sturdy and really presses the water right out. Perfect for marinating. If you don't have it, you need to put the tofu between plates and stack a bunch of cookbooks or something on top. It really helps to press tofu. It keeps it from falling apart and lets it soak in flavor. Don't scrimp on this and if you don't have the press, try to do it for 1/2 hour at least. The press is really quick though.
2. Preheat pan with olive oil over medium-low heat. 
3. Add shallot and garlic. Stir them around until they are nicely browned but NOT burned.
4. Cube up the tofu: Cut it longwise, as though you are making 2 layers. Then cut those layers into long strips and then crosswise into 1/2-1 inch cubes...I can't believe how long it took me to figure out how to type that and really, you probably know what I mean. And put it in the pan
5. Sautee tofu until it's starting to brown and  maybe even sticking a little. 
6. Add the seasonings. I have no idea how much. Tablespoon?
7. Add the chard, just throw it all in and try to stir it. It will be hard to stir cause it's in a big pile and will fall out and be annoying. It'll get easier when it wilts. Hang in there!
8. Cover and stir every once in a while. 
9. Check it occasionally and once the chard starts to really wilt, take lid off and let it sautee and give off it's water. 
10. Stir it often enough to scrape up the little fried tofu and shallot/garlic bits. Yum! 
11. Tofu will scramble a little and some of the pieces will fall apart a little (not too much if you pressed it right) but those bits get yummy and sort of crispy. 

Make rice while you're doing all this. Serve it up! 

Kale chips aka Shrinky Dinks

Punky helped me make these. He ate 1/2 bag of kale...that's 8 oz, 1/2 a pound of kale. And kale is mad good for you. These are easy.

1. Preheat oven to 275. 
2. Pour 8 oz (1/2 bag )of kale into a big bowl. 
3. Put olive oil on one hand or drizzle a LITTLE bit on the kale. Only a little. 
4. Optional: sprinkle with maybe 1-2 tsps of balsamic vinegar
5. Sprinkle with salt. I like it pretty salty but start easy. 
6. Options: Add nutrition yeast, one of the most famous/infamous vegan seasonings. Add chili powder, cayenne, curry powder. Be creative! 
7. Put them on baking sheets. Don't let them overlap, spread them out a bit.
8. Bake at 275 for about 5-10 minutes. Check them every once in a while. They should shrink and get crispy, really crispy. Watch that they don't burn!
9. I made these with spinach the other day and they were kind of cool. I'm going to work on that more. 

A massaged kale salad: One of many variations

I have noticed that I really like colons. ::: Punky helped me make this one too but wouldn't let me take his picture.


IMPORTANT: As you massage the kale, pull the leaves off the woody stem parts and set the stems aside. Also, save the stems of parsley and the leftover parts of carrot if there is any. I hate wasting food and like to use as much of my ingredients as possible. I have a little recipe below that uses this stuff.

8 oz of kale, washed and trimmed. Don't be a sucker! Buy that prebagged stuff!

A lot of parsley. I probably had 1/3 cup minced up really small. It was a handful+
1/4 cup of veganaise (you could use mayo, yogurt or eliminate if you want)
1-2 Tablespoons of lemon juice
Olive oil, enough for your hands to massage and a little more
Agave nectar, maybe 1-2 teaspoons
Salt
Pepper
1/3 cup toasted pepitas/pumpkin seeds
1/3 cup dried cranberries. We used the orange ones from trader joes and they were fantastic.
1 carrot, grated or julienned very small

1. Massage the kale with olive oil and a little salt
2. Throw in parsley
3. Add veganaise and lemon juice. Toss it around really well.
4. Add agave, pepitas and toss some more
5. Add cranberries and pepper and salt if needed.
6. Add carrot
7. As always TASTE AS YOU GO and change as you see fit. 
8. I added some leftover strawberries, sliced up. I hesitated in this. Adding strawberries to salads is totally passe, totally last decade. I know this because Eat n' Park used to have a salad with strawberries in it on their menu. They are the epitome of uncool and behind-the-times. Oh well.

Leftover Kale Butts Relish

You saved the kale butts/woody bits and the parsley and carrot, right?

Making a broth: ALWAYS if possible, throw the butts/bits/leftovers of your vegetables into a bag in the freezer. I often use an old plastic lettuce container (Yeah...I buy prewashed lettuce too). Then when you have a bunch and have an afternoon or morning to hang around, put it in a pot and make your own stock. I'll post more about that some time cause it is TOTALLY worth doing. Most store bought broth is nasty. I have shittons of vegetable butts in my freezer so I wanted something different to do with them.

1. Chop up the kale butts. I sliced them longways so that I was exposing the more tender part. Make them diced pretty small cause this is a relish-y thing. You want as much surface area of your veggies exposed as possible.
2. Chop up the parsley butts. 
3. Chop up carrot butts. 
4. In a large bowl add 1/2-1 cup of cider vinegar (Bragg's if possible).
5. Add vegetable butts.
6. Add 1 Tablespoon-1/8 cup of Sriracha
7. Add salt, a bit
8. Add Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids, maybe 1-2 Tablespoons
9. Toss around a lot in the bowl. 
10. Store in a glass container (use glass, pickley things can make plastic or metal weird) and chill.
11. Truth be told, I haven't actually tasted this yet. I know it will need to marry and pickle up a bit. It coudl be good on a hummus wrap or something like that.

Ok...one more....

Creamy Coriander dressing (This is almost exactly like the pale green dressing at an Indian restaurant)


One more recipe. I love this dressing. Fett and I made a chili the other day (that I should post) and it was SUPER-easy and used the Laxmi Coriander Chutney paste which is absolutely amazing. You can see it in this picture, a gorgeous bright green. As an aside, this company has cheap spices and grains. I buy them sometimes. The only perfume I wear is their Rose Water. It's like 3 bucks and lasts a long time and I can put in my hair and on my clothes etc.

If I wasn't mostly vegan, I would use a nice tart non-fat yogurt for this. I think soy yogurt would be disgusting. Try if you must but don't say I didn't warn you. I only eat that crap when I'm really hard up for probiotics/cultured products.

1. In a jar, add 2-3 Tablespoons (maybe more, depends on how strong you want it) of coriander chutney paste to about 1/4 cup veganaise or yogurt.
2. Add 1/2 cup of lemon juice
3. Shake that shit UP. 
4. Check for salt and general taste. 

So, those are the recipes for today. Lots of green stuff. It's all very healthy and very easy.

Things I plan to post about soon: vegetable broth; injera; Fett's Fire-roasted chili; smokey tofu; the other kale salad I made that was amazing; more cocktails; artichoke pasta;

Hey so how is my layout treating you guys? Do I need to space it more? Not putting pictures in sure is faster but this entry has taken quite a while. Argh. God damn it. I just realized I made tea water an hour ago and still didn't make it. Crap.

This entry isn't as entertaining, is more food stuff. I hope that's cool. Want to keep it lively still. I do use the word shitton a lot lately, so that's fun.